I sit by my window
I light up a cigarette
You kill me in more ways than one
I hate the smoke
I hate you
But I long for the taste of you
and so I drink in a shot of brandy
I want to spit it out
but I drink it in
I lick my lips like you do
I miss you
The cigarette takes its effect on me
I lean my head on the wall
i feel that cloud of smoke inside me
getting into my blood
ripping through my system
just like you
oh god im dizzy
if you touched me now
i would go insane
push me against a wall
and im all yours
the alcohol kicks in
if you licked my lips now
i'd bite yours back
my senses take pleasure in your addictions
i let it destroy me
because i hate you
and i want to hurt you.
I know you wouldn't like it if I smoked or drank
but i do it to spite you even if the taste disgusts me.
I hurt you because i love you and you do not see.